May 2012
51 posts
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“The artist is the creator of beautiful things.
To reveal art and conceal the...”
– Oscar Wilde, Preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray (via hipsterhorcrux)
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...what just happened...???
joey-andromeda:
bemyherotonight:
So, I was falling asleep during class…I was just going to doodle a bit to keep myself awake…and this happened…I…I don’t understand…my mind…
lost it at My name is Harold.
Reblog if you read this with a Dalek’s voice.
OMG I WANT TO SEE MORE STORIES ABOUT HAROLD THE DALEK
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“This guy’s walkin’ down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls...”
– Leo McGarry
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“There is a rumor going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely...”
– Sir Terry Pratchett, The Daily Mail (U.K.), June 21, 2008 (via nonplussedbyreligion)
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Tumblr Accent Challenge!!!
Your name and...
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“I won’t kiss you. It might get to be a habit and I can’t get rid of habits.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, Flappers and Philosophers (via penseesduchoeur)
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My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
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Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're fucking everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Twitter: you have 140 cows.
Facebook: you are in a complicated relationship with a cow.
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“…there’s more computing power being exerted on the left front brake...”
– Wired, —- Help us JFK, Yuri Gagarin and Werner von Braun, you’re our only hope…
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Apologies.
The tag-you’re-it question post has been fixed now. This wifi is offal :/
I probably scared Mr. Gaiman off too… :(
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This tag is to get to know the person behind the blog better. As with any tagging game there are rules:
Rule 1 - Post the rules
Rule 2 - Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones
Rule 3 - Tag 11 people and link them to your post
1. If you could be any animal, what would you be?
A Cat. fuckin’… da frakking… duh…
2. If you were about to be...
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